I learned some thing about myself this last week. Photography has always been a passion for me (bordering on obsession….lol). Yet last week I became aware that it was something more, way more. It is a place I can go and find comfort and peace.
The week started as any other, home from a horse show and processing photos – LOTS of photos. Then Tuesday night the call came that my Grandmother was in the hospital and not expected to make it through the night. She was 87 with Alzheimer’s that was taking over more and more everyday. By Wednesday evening I was in Denver and with my family at her side she was hanging in there, but unresponsive. We sat with her Wednesday, and well into the evening Thursday, before heading home to get some rest. She found her peace early Friday morning (only a few hours after we had left her), and made her own journey home, I could not ask for more for her. Although my heart was breaking for my Grandfather who had been married to her for 70 years. Wow 70 years, unbelievable, here is a man who took his vows to heart. He promised to take care of her for the rest of their lives, and well he did. He may have needed help at times, but he truly took that vow to the end.
It is said very often that dying is harder on the ones left behind than the person who dies. After having gone through this, I now have a better understanding of this. I miss her dearly, but I also know her body is now healed and she can keep a watchful eye on her family. She always did have eyes in the back of her head, and now , well she really does see everything. So I guess I best behave….
The rest of the afternoon we spent as a family together, eating, laughing telling stories of all of our adventures with Grandma. You know I learned a lot about her that day to. Stories that I had never heard before. It was actually very enjoyable despite the circumstances.
I had brought my camera with me to Denver (I really do take it everywhere…lol) and I am so glad that I did. My Aunt has beautiful flowers blooming in her garden right now, and lots of birds sitting on nests, and just a photographers heaven. Off I went in search of the perfect photo, here I was wandering around the yard in awe of all the beauty, (thanks to my Uncle for pointing out all the nests…). Then it all came rushing in to my thoughts, that all was ok, I was at peace knowing grandma was in a better place. I felt ok with my camera in hand, and photographing the things that my Grandmother loved so much. Birds and flowers were passions for my grandmother, every spring/summer she would spend hours and hours with her gardens, and she always made them welcoming for the birds. (Ok so they weren’t very welcome in the strawberries.) She also had an amazing collection of porcelain birds, I can remember giving them to her for birthdays and christmas and the were all displayed proudly throughout the house. She could tell you what species they all were while you were watching the live ones from the kitchen window or the patio or the porcelain ones perched throughout the house. Flowers for her were no different, she knew them all and how to make them grow perfectly, her gardens were always the envy of others.
So now when I photograph birds and flowers it is with a different perspective. I want to show Grandma that I now see more of what she saw, and I like to belive that perhaps she is helping me find the shots to take of her favorite things. My photography took a turn last week, and I have my Grandmother to thank for that. So Grandma the images on this page are for you…..